A f*cking wetsuit for 9 grand? What?

Friday 15th April 2011


You might already know about this, I might be like your uncle Simon telling you for the 15th time about the time he accidentally got off with a man when he was on a stag do in Brighton. Alternatively you may be intrigued, you may want to read on to discover more about this expensive wetsuit.

For those of you still reading here it is, here’s the story.

I listed my used wetsuit on eBay, I was desperate, broke and expected to get £30 for it. As a result of the description and Q&A’s over 650,000 people from around the world looked at it.

The press said it went ‘viral’, I’d not experienced anything like this before apart from when Martin spread a rumour round the school I had no testicles. Anyway I thought it was only right to do something positive with the attention and decided to give 90% to charity.

British comedian and star of Little Britain, Matt Lucas tweeted:

That funny bastard @morgyface has put his old wetsuit up on eBay and he’s giving 90% to Japanese charities

And comedian Dave Gorman also retweeted as did MythBusters star Adam Savage.

As a result of the attention surf related companies from all over the world donated products to the listing, it went from a single used wetsuit to a package containing everything from surfboards to festival tickets. As the bids reached the thousands I upped the donation to 95%.

Some lunatics bid as high as half a million pounds, and then it settled at £12,000. After a flurry of cancelled bids, it eventually ended at £8,999 ($14,400), which was slightly anti-climatic but nonetheless a terrific amount.

Now, I’d like to say the winner paid up, received the wetsuit, a plethora of surf related stuff and we all cheered. But I can’t. The dick couldn’t pay, he was a nit-wit who made terrible excuses. I was frightfully cross as it took the sheen off what could’ve been a magical climax. The BBC were going to interview me but changed their minds when they discovered the shitty ending. I had intended to use my TV exposure to promote my YouTube series on condensation, but no, none of that happened. I just swore and kicked the head off a gnome.

It’s not over. I couldn’t let it end there. I found a company who did online raffles and I raffled off the kit. I sold over £9,000 worth of tickets and a chap in Truro won the lot. I gave the money to the Red Cross and the fuckers never even said thanks. Not that I’m bitter.

Here’s the, now finished, eBay auction:

Here’s some links to websites who reported the listing:

In addition to the online articles, I also made the cover of Cornish newspaper the West Briton and was apparently mentioned on XFM Radio, Sky Sports in Australia as well as doing an interview for Kerrang radio.

A magic experience.